The interview: 5 insider tips

 

First dates are really like job interviews, you’re both analyzing  and evaluating one another. In your speech, body language, life accomplishments. It is just as nerve racking, and there is always an end goal. Does he/she like me? Will we see each other again? Will they call me the next day, to say I’ve surpassed their expectations?

If you’re anything like me, you have a lot of anxiety going into these situations. Regardless of whether you’re enamored with the person, or just feel butterflies whenever you see them, you butcher your first date without a doubt! I go in with the best of intentions, thinking about all the things I won’t say, enticing first date questions, and how best to flirt without giving away too much. I mean I really devise a plan in my minds eye, yet I have a tendency to become too intellectual, showcasing a myriad of idiosyncrasies. Which I’ve come to recognize in both situations the other human isn’t prepared, nor ready to be that intimate with me. Intimacy isn’t only about this ‘lovey-dovey-star-eyed-melodramatic-bullshit ‘that most of society deems when they hear the word. True, real, intimacy as Webster’s dictionary defines it, is a close familiarity or friendship; closeness.

As most of my readers may know if you’ve ever had the luxury of meeting me in real life, then you’re well aware I mainly, only interact on the most intimate of levels. That means even if this is our first meeting or our tenth, you will always get the most authentic version of me. Which if you stop to ponder about this luxury, you’re pretty darn lucky to have the pleasure of experiencing such an encounter.

But not all are blessed with the talent of being authentically intimate. But never fear this is why I am here. I am going to give you 5 tips for leaving a lasting impression whilst being intimately authentic, insuring that you’ll always get a call back.

Number 1: BE truthful, not boisterous. It is extremely unattractive when you’re with someone and they dominate the conversation with their life accomplishments. Of course if you’ve just launched a new product or invented something please share, yet do your best to engage the other person, by asking inquisitive questions. Now is not the time to practice your TED talk speech.

Number 2: Smile from your heart chakra.  I have a friend whom smiles from her heart chakra all the time! She is the most genuine person, and you’re able to tell that she truly admires you, all from her smile. When you smile from the depths of your soul, you attraction levels increase, thus increasing  your confidence making you irresistible. And who can resist a confident, attractive women!?

Number 3: Actively Listen. This one is crucial to all relationships in life. A lot of people halfheartedly listen, always waiting for their turn to talk. Which if you’ve ever been the recipient to one of these conversations, you know very well how insensitive this is. Especially this day when everyone has a smartphone and a 10th of the population is addicted to their social media accounts. When you are given the opportunity to engage in meaningful conversation, then be a participant and listen with both ears and eyes. Repeat in your own verbiage important details, as to retain them for future engagements.

Number 4: Be a GIVER, not a taker. Do you remember the feeling of opening the perfect gift from your parents? and not only that but how excited they were to give it to you? This is the feeling you want to replicate. Give the person your undivided attention, turn your cell phone off, or put it away. Ask open-ended questions (the ones that require some thought, such as Socratic questioning), this will get both parties engaged in complex thinking and bring forth different ideas. Lead your life, not just interviews or dates with the intention to add more value to another persons life. Remember the adage;”It is better to give than to receive”.

Number 5: Have FUN! Above all else, enjoy yourself. It is really hard to be self-conscious if your having a good time. Remember this is just as much about you as it is about the other person. If you show them that you are enjoying yourself, they also will loosen up and enjoy themselves also.

Did you like my tips? Do you have any of your own? If so please share in the comments below.

 

XO

_Simone

 

 

Sun orbit 35

This week I celebrated another year around the sun, and although I am a year older, I feel slightly more youthful. The last few days leading up to my “magical” day have been a bit melancholy, due to many democratic reasons, placed upon me by societies standards of success. Instead of celebrating my life, I was mourning it. Why, you ask? Because of the life milestones that society stated I should have accomplished by the time I turned this age. It wasn’t until I stopped to marvel in all that I have accomplished that I realized how ludicrous the thought that I wasn’t successful was.

If I judged myself by others standards, I wouldn’t have accomplished all that I have.Which by my standards; the one that matters, I have accomplished A LOT!!!!!

I was reminded of this when I received my parents birthday card. My dad makes all of our birthday cards and this year mine displayed mannequins in various forms, from the Ralph Pucci; The Art of Mannequin exhibit, which was on display last year. It is evident that I have taken the road less traveled, many artist can attest to this. Even now as I attempt to work this 9-6 job, I find that without my fashion business, I would be so unhappy. This weekend after breaking out the pencils, and drawing pad I found that to have balance I must create daily. Whether it be through movement of my limbs; think yoga, dancing, running, or visual art; drawing, designing fashionable garments, sewing, painting, and/or writing poetic prose, we were born to create. We were created, so it is part of all of our genetic DNA.

This exhibit is no longer available for public viewing, yet it truly embodies all that I am. I am fluid poetry, I am solid matter, I am creatress, I am womyn.

xoxo

-Simone

Numb

The days have blurred

my heart beats pause

at the buzz of my phone

I’m mind numb, struck dumb.

Thoughts pervade

my inner most self

causing me to dwell

upon the chaos which I brought

when I hold you too close

to the fire

of my inner desire

to be enveloped

in your love

all the time

smothering you

relentless

in my need

to

see

be

to make

we.

 

*an old poetic prose for an old lover

Spring into Style with Chloe + Isabel

Spring into Style with Chloe + Isabel

 

We are well into Spring,  and the sun has made an appearance, not once, not twice but five times this last week in Seattle; The Emerald City. Which means, that I have been wearing my white chucks for 3 consecutive days. I used to hate white shoes, then I caught hold of my first sighting of the above beauties and the love affair began. I will say, a little part of me dies inside when a hipster comments on how ‘chic’ my kicks are. If you know me, you are aware that I tend to swim upstream in the fashion realm, navigating away from the expected. But, a classic is a classic and these are going to pair perfectly with sun dresses, jeans and t-shirts, and rompers; my summer uniform. I can also see these making an appearance in a my lingerie lookbook. Which has been on the back burner for all of March, it appears to be taking a lot longer to launch than BC (before child). Thus is the lifestyle of a creative entrepreneur; ebbs and flows. I need to remind myself of that when I make such tight deadlines for myself. Especially given the vision I have for said lingerie line. Yet, you can be assured that it will be a collection just as creative, unconventional, and classic as a white pair of Chuck Taylor All Stars.

Tears heal

Sometimes all you really need is a good cry. I have been holding back tears all day  long. Not because of one particular thing, just the overwhelming feeling when you realize that for many years you’ve pushed aside responsibilities and  then one day awoke to find that you’re an adult with bills to pay, a child to raise and you’re held accountable for the things you’ve failed to do. This has a lot to do with my business and higher education, and although I have been warned that there will be many uncomfortable feelings that are associated with building a business through the business course I am taking; B-School with Marie Forleo, I’m still perplexed by the amount of emotions coursing through my body. So much is happening, a lot of it good, yet it is truly overwhelming. On top of all the good things there is an increasingly disturbing reality within my relationships. This reality being that I have recently allowed people into my life whom aren’t necessary in my tribe. I have placed too much emphasis on how I act, feel or relate to people based on what they deem fit. This has hindered growth in my personal life and I’m finally recognizing and honoring my true authentic self, by placing boundaries on how much information I give others.

I have found through an online women’s Christian e-course that my faith has blossomed, and with this, I’m aware of the strong need for a community of Christian women near me in age, whom are able to relate to the things I struggle with. I also realize that I crave the ocean and need it in my life, and that the lifestyle of being an island girl holds true in many of my life choices. So, I am vowing to myself to take the leap and make California home in 3-5 years. There is much work to be done and through The Lord’s help I will surpass my goals. But first, I must cry.