First dates are really like job interviews, you’re both analyzing and evaluating one another. In your speech, body language, life accomplishments. It is just as nerve racking, and there is always an end goal. Does he/she like me? Will we see each other again? Will they call me the next day, to say I’ve surpassed their expectations?
If you’re anything like me, you have a lot of anxiety going into these situations. Regardless of whether you’re enamored with the person, or just feel butterflies whenever you see them, you butcher your first date without a doubt! I go in with the best of intentions, thinking about all the things I won’t say, enticing first date questions, and how best to flirt without giving away too much. I mean I really devise a plan in my minds eye, yet I have a tendency to become too intellectual, showcasing a myriad of idiosyncrasies. Which I’ve come to recognize in both situations the other human isn’t prepared, nor ready to be that intimate with me. Intimacy isn’t only about this ‘lovey-dovey-star-eyed-melodramatic-bullshit ‘that most of society deems when they hear the word. True, real, intimacy as Webster’s dictionary defines it, is a close familiarity or friendship; closeness.
As most of my readers may know if you’ve ever had the luxury of meeting me in real life, then you’re well aware I mainly, only interact on the most intimate of levels. That means even if this is our first meeting or our tenth, you will always get the most authentic version of me. Which if you stop to ponder about this luxury, you’re pretty darn lucky to have the pleasure of experiencing such an encounter.
But not all are blessed with the talent of being authentically intimate. But never fear this is why I am here. I am going to give you 5 tips for leaving a lasting impression whilst being intimately authentic, insuring that you’ll always get a call back.
Number 1: BE truthful, not boisterous. It is extremely unattractive when you’re with someone and they dominate the conversation with their life accomplishments. Of course if you’ve just launched a new product or invented something please share, yet do your best to engage the other person, by asking inquisitive questions. Now is not the time to practice your TED talk speech.
Number 2: Smile from your heart chakra. I have a friend whom smiles from her heart chakra all the time! She is the most genuine person, and you’re able to tell that she truly admires you, all from her smile. When you smile from the depths of your soul, you attraction levels increase, thus increasing your confidence making you irresistible. And who can resist a confident, attractive women!?
Number 3: Actively Listen. This one is crucial to all relationships in life. A lot of people halfheartedly listen, always waiting for their turn to talk. Which if you’ve ever been the recipient to one of these conversations, you know very well how insensitive this is. Especially this day when everyone has a smartphone and a 10th of the population is addicted to their social media accounts. When you are given the opportunity to engage in meaningful conversation, then be a participant and listen with both ears and eyes. Repeat in your own verbiage important details, as to retain them for future engagements.
Number 4: Be a GIVER, not a taker. Do you remember the feeling of opening the perfect gift from your parents? and not only that but how excited they were to give it to you? This is the feeling you want to replicate. Give the person your undivided attention, turn your cell phone off, or put it away. Ask open-ended questions (the ones that require some thought, such as Socratic questioning), this will get both parties engaged in complex thinking and bring forth different ideas. Lead your life, not just interviews or dates with the intention to add more value to another persons life. Remember the adage;”It is better to give than to receive”.
Number 5: Have FUN! Above all else, enjoy yourself. It is really hard to be self-conscious if your having a good time. Remember this is just as much about you as it is about the other person. If you show them that you are enjoying yourself, they also will loosen up and enjoy themselves also.
Did you like my tips? Do you have any of your own? If so please share in the comments below.